Hi Nick! I just finished reading Dante's Inferno not too long ago for another class, so I am excited to see what you will do with this project! I am curious which circles you will explore, if they will be based on the same punishments that Dante used, and who you will find in each circle. For the class I had to read Dante's Inferno in, we had to write a short retelling of the story; it was interesting to see how setting your story in 2018 gives you so many options on who you will encounter! I also appreciated that you chose the name Angelica for the wife, since Dante's love Beatrice also had an "angelic" name. Is your guide Spencer someone specific? I know Dante chose Virgil as his guide since he was a writer he admired, so it makes me wonder if Spencer is someone famous or someone in your life that you admire. I noticed a couple small grammar errors, such as lowercase letter that need to be capitalized and a missing apostrophe, so maybe go back and take a quick look for these! I can't wait to read your stories as you go through the circles of hell!
Hey Nick. I haven't read Dante's inferno before but I have heard a lot about it. Just from reading your introduction I was hooked on where the story was gonna go. I think since I have read your introduction I might have to actually read Dante's Inferno. I like how you set the story in 2018 because sometimes when I am reading a old story it is hard for me to keep track of what is happening because the names are weird. Also it being set in modern time is easier to understand because if you name specific places then I might understand better what places you are talking about. I noticed in some of your sentences you need some letter capitalized and and had a word in present tense when it was supposed to be in past tense. Otherwise from that I think it was a great introduction and I will definitely keep up with it so I can see what happens!
Hi Nick! I have not read Dante's Inferno in a long time but i really enjoyed how your introduction set up how the rest of the story is going to play out. It can be difficult to set up the beginning because dante's inferno has so many different levels and stories that go within it, so good job on setting up the story. You did a great job by making it sound interesting and keeping the reader questioning on what is going to happen. My one suggestion would be to go through the introduction and read it aloud, there are a few grammar errors that are super easy for you to fix! other than those minor fixes i would say that your introduction did exactly what it is meant to do.
Hi Nick! I think this will be a great story book to read! First question is, are you portraying the character as yourself? Second, what exactly are you doing different than from the original story of Dante's Inferno? Also, I did notice some overuse of pronoun (he) at the beginning of your introduction. This just a suggestion but an eventual telling of why these two are really in Purgatory(or are going through it) would be a really interesting aspect to include. Such ideas being that Spencer really did do something bad and he is trying to make his way to heaven by giving "tours" to those newly there. Lastly, I feel like staying the same point of view throughout the story would be better, such as telling the story solely from Nicholas's perspective. But overall I am excited to see how you plan on laying out all of your stories!
First off, love the subtle banner image for Story 1. It's a nice touch. The site works great, and my only cosmetic recommendation could be adding perhaps a couple more images to give readers an immediate vibe in the introduction. The cerberus image is great, but you might could scoot it down in the text to where the dog appears in the story.
I think Spencer's explanation for why greedy people wind up in this realm could use a little fine-tuning: everyone wants things they can't have, we do this all the time. Perhaps Spencer could explain that these people acted on those impulses at the expense of others, instead of simply pointing out they were greedy to begin with? The celebrity roast is nice too, giving a very modern twist to the Inferno.
There's a little inconsistency with past and present actions, and perhaps combing through and changing verbs around for a consistent time frame (Has this already happened or is it occurring in real-time) would give a little more cohesion to the narrative.
This is a great start, and I can't wait to see what happens next.
Hi Nick, I have actually never read Dante's inferno and I am not sure that I ever will so this was an interesting read for me! Since I have never read the original work it would have helped me if I had gotten a 101 of some sort of the book. I think I got the gist of it through your introduction as you did a pretty good setting up your story but I was a tad bit lost. Also, I noticed that you left out your bibliography on the introduction, just wanted to give you a heads up! Also, I am wondering what levels of the infernos you will be using for your stories. There are 7 levels in the original? Will you be taking us through all of them or are you skipping some of them? I like how you brought in names of people that most of us would recognize from pop culture. - Anna Margret
I've never read Dante's Inferno so this will be interesting for me. I wish your introduction was more of an introduction than a story, since I've never read the original before and have no idea what to expect. The first paragraph in Story 1 reads pretty awkward--I think that there are some words missing? Also in your Story 1, watch for typos and capitalization errors. Sorry, I can't read anything without finding those, even books I buy. It's just the way my brain works, to find them. I like how you use real people that we would all recognize as people being tortured in hell and also relate it as to how we all sin and could all be tortured for our sins. Really makes a person think. I really like the way you've written all this so far and I love your images. I just wish you'd put in more about the original, maybe in your intro, for those of us who've never read the original story and probably won't ever read it. It's hard to know what we're comparing it to. Great job & can't wait to see what else you come up with!
Hi Nick! after reading the introduction, I am interested to see where your story will go. I also have never read Dante's Inferno. I like how you used the name Nicholas, is this in reference to your own name by chance? I like how you made the setting modern (2018), and that Nick is just lost in this world without his wife. I also enjoy the details you gave about Purgatory, and the forest. sort of reminds me of the weather here recently. Story: part 1, the title does not seem that interesting or intriguing to me. I also enjoyed Nick seeing familiar celebrities in Lust, especially since one of them was in the news recently. I noticed a few grammatical errors, which I am sure is in your email for revision. I also don't think that the image of the three headed dog should be changed to something else since Cerberus is only mentioned here and does not have much importance here in your story.
Hi Nick! I think Dante’s Inferno is an excellent story topic because it is dark yet full of fantasy and wonder. I really like how you describe Nick and Spencer entering hell. You can picture the cave and how it slowly changes into new realms. It’s really unique that you put real celebrities in the different levels of the inferno! You are including real elements from today and weaving them into an ancient story. One thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of your sentences are short and simple, but I think it would really improve the flow if you combined several sentences into one. They would read better if they were a little longer. This is a very dark story and it leaves me wondering where it could go next. I saw in your author’s note that you chose to include Cerberus because he’s important, and I completely agree.
Hi Nick! I loved your idea of basing the story off of Dante's Inferno. Right away, you explain the motivations of the main characters, such as a search for a lost wife, which I really appreciate. I have a few questions for you. First, what is the reason given for mortals being sent to Purgatory in the original book itself? From what I understand, it's a place to do penance for sin. In the writings of the faith, it's a place where sinners are able to purify themselves, not a place for people who haven't sinned. Also, I was curious if you're planning to change the storyline of the book as you write your own version? So far, they seem fairly similar, and I'm excited to see where you take it. Lastly, a lot fo your verbs aren't in the same tense. The constant switching from present to past tense made the story a bit confusing to read. Overall, I like your imagery and can't wait to read the next story!
I really liked reading your introduction. It was a great way to introduce what the storybook is going to be about. The story was easy to follow and you created a great back story to understand what was going to happen later in the Storybook. If I were to suggest anything, I might switch up the beginnings of some of the sentences. A lot of them start with “He” and with those sentences, they follow back to back with “He”. This is a very picky suggestion, but creating diverse sentence structure could add a lot to your introduction! As I go onto Part 1, I know it will be a cool story based on the picture that you included! Images do a lot for a story, and in this case, it gives insight as to what to expect before even reading the story. After reading the author’s note, I think that you did a great job of keeping close to the original all while creating your own story and making it have your influence. Great job!
First off, I think your website is easy to navigate, your theme and pictures match your story. I noticed that someone else mentioned moving the picture of Cerberus in your second story down to where you introduce the creature. I would have to agree that it would be nice for the reader to see the illustration next to where the character is in the story. Plus, you have the banner photo, which acts as your first picture.
I have never read or hear of Inferno before coming across your project. Although I am not familiar with the story, I think you have done a great job setting up your story and introducing the characters. I also like your use of dialog. I think you capture the essence of your two characters well.
I felt like the jump between lust, to gluttony, to greed was pretty quick. Reading your author's note, I understand you wanted to leave that part out, but I think adding a little more explanation and interaction with the beings who are trapped would help keep the reader hooked into your story. I thought I missed something so I went back through to find more information. However, I think it was a good idea to allow them to get through Cerberus so quickly by throwing it some meat as a distraction.
I look forward to reading your other story next week. I like your theme, it reminds me of Diablo 3. ~Madi Reynolds
As someone who is very interested in Dante's Inferno, I must explain how incredible your piece seems to me. The characters were developed early on. I do think there is a way to tell the story of the connection and familial ties among them without being so concise. If you spread out your pacing and how you tell the audience the story, you may increase the engagement in the piece. I do enjoy the depth of research you went through, however. The part where you speak of Jews and their relation to not believe in an afterlife is a practical addition to your story. I am very interested in reading more of your stories. I wonder if Nicholas will even find his wife in Heaven or if Spencer is lying to him to seal his fate! Is Spencer even sent by the angels? I am excited to find out what happens next in your storybook.
The changes you've made to Part 1 are great! I was tickled by the inclusion of Hannibal Lecter in Part 2, and I absolutely loved Spencer's explanation of why even fictional characters can suffer. What an idea! Using Kurt Cobaine as an example of self-violence was genius, and I love the way you've completely modernized Dante's Inferno. Populating each of the levels of hell with characters our generation will relate to was a seriously good idea.
The remark Spencer makes to Nicholas: "I was told you are not a heretic" really made me wonder what Spencer was told, and whether Spencer is actually trustworthy or leading Nicholas to his own private hell. I went back and re-read the introduction, and realized that precisely how Nicholas stumbled into the Inferno was never really explained. Now I'm wondering if Nicholas is dead the whole time!!!! Super fun, super spooky! This is one of my favorite storybooks, and I can't wait to see what the ending reveals. GREAT JOB!
Hey Nick, I haven't ever read Dante's Inferno, but I am familiar with the general idea and plot. I read through some of the other comments and I would agree that an introduction or author’s note that gives a good explanation of the original might be helpful to readers that have never read the book before. Your blog is looking good, I like your choice of banners and pictures to reflect where the reader is in the tale. My only input would just be to choose pictures that all have a unified look. Since most of your photos look like they have kind of an ancient vibe going on, I would recommend changing the photo of Cerberus and the banner picture of money. For Cerberus you could use a drawing that was done earlier or in an older style, while for the money you could possibly use a picture of gold coins instead. These are just some suggestions. As far as content goes, I think that although the idea of using pop culture in the story is interesting, it is a little heavy handed. While everyone is entitled to their opinion, it seems to be a little presumptuous for you to write about these people belonging in hell. While I may agree with you on some points, I don’t think that it is in good taste to pass judgement on others like that. But then again, maybe this just isn’t my kind of thing. -Cat
Hi Nick! I read your “Intro of the Inferno story”. I thought it was truly creative and amazing! I even like the very beginning of your story: “His name is Nicholas and he will have to travel through many levels of the inferno before he is able to reunite with his wife.” That is just really purposeful and I think that gives a worthy reason for Nicholas to go through such journey. It’s really tragic that Nicholas’s wife died when he was only thirty. This really created a big suspense in my mind: Though scared Nicholas asked with confidence, “Who goes there?’ Wow.. This part of the story is intense: “Nicholas, I have brought you to the first level of the Inferno, Purgatory. This is the place where people who did nothing wrong have gone but did not follow faith properly. These people will roam here eternally for they did not listen to faith properly.” I could imagine what the scene was like. I wonder if Nicholas could have ever been able see such thing without meeting Spencer. What if Spencer had an ill intent for Nicholas? The story is by the most creative story I’ve read in this class. Thank you for a great story!
Hey Nick! I have heard of Dante’s Inferno and probably was supposed to read it in high school at some point, but I do not think that I ever actually finished it. I had a tendency to not do the required reading, but I do know that Dante’s Inferno is a classic so it was cool that you wanted to try your own version. I enjoyed experiencing it through your version. I wish that it was longer, but I understand for the sake of the class you probably had to cut things out, also maybe it is just a short story originally. I am glad you kept the names the same because I want to read the original now and then I could compare the two. Also, I am glad you made the story your own and changed the ending instead of just rewriting the whole thing, I think your ending was great and I am sure it is a great addition to the original.
Hey Nick, I really like the spin you have put on your retelling of Dante’s Inferno. I really like some of the characters you included as sufferers in certain levels of hell. When you included Hannibal Lector I was thinking, wait, isn’t that a fictional character? And apparaently your character was too because immediately after he was mentioned the character asks about it and learns that hell has no bounds and even the fictional suffer for sins. I liked this explanation and I think it fits with the story and gives you more options for characters to include. I also really like some of the pictures you have included, specifically the one of Cerberus. You might consider adding even more pictures within your stories. Pictures like these do a really nice job of breaking up walls of text. Overall, you have done great job, you have a well put together Storybook here!
I have enjoyed reading your storybook. One thing that I noticed was at the beginning of Part 2. It begins with a repetitive sentence, which I am sure was accidentally left in there when you were editing. It is important for the reader to get pulled into the story right from the beginning and small errors like that can be distracting. I think it is so funny that you included Mel Gibson in your story, although the situation he is in is not very pleasant for anyone. I thought it was interesting that you tied in the time change, it is important to remind your readers where your character came from, so good job! I think that it would be helpful to have a few more picture throughout your story. Personally, I just love pictures because they help me imagine what the character is facing, the setting, other characters, etc. For instance, I think it would be helpful to move the picture of Geryon to the bottom of the page when he is introduced. That way when Spencer says, "This is Geryon," the reader does not have to scroll all the way to the top to see what he looks like, or it is also possible that they may not make that connection at all. Overall, I think you have done a wonderful job with your storybook project. I have enjoyed reading it over the semester! :)
Hi Nick! I just finished reading Dante's Inferno not too long ago for another class, so I am excited to see what you will do with this project! I am curious which circles you will explore, if they will be based on the same punishments that Dante used, and who you will find in each circle. For the class I had to read Dante's Inferno in, we had to write a short retelling of the story; it was interesting to see how setting your story in 2018 gives you so many options on who you will encounter! I also appreciated that you chose the name Angelica for the wife, since Dante's love Beatrice also had an "angelic" name. Is your guide Spencer someone specific? I know Dante chose Virgil as his guide since he was a writer he admired, so it makes me wonder if Spencer is someone famous or someone in your life that you admire. I noticed a couple small grammar errors, such as lowercase letter that need to be capitalized and a missing apostrophe, so maybe go back and take a quick look for these! I can't wait to read your stories as you go through the circles of hell!
ReplyDeleteHey Nick. I haven't read Dante's inferno before but I have heard a lot about it. Just from reading your introduction I was hooked on where the story was gonna go. I think since I have read your introduction I might have to actually read Dante's Inferno. I like how you set the story in 2018 because sometimes when I am reading a old story it is hard for me to keep track of what is happening because the names are weird. Also it being set in modern time is easier to understand because if you name specific places then I might understand better what places you are talking about. I noticed in some of your sentences you need some letter capitalized and and had a word in present tense when it was supposed to be in past tense. Otherwise from that I think it was a great introduction and I will definitely keep up with it so I can see what happens!
ReplyDeleteHi Nick! I have not read Dante's Inferno in a long time but i really enjoyed how your introduction set up how the rest of the story is going to play out. It can be difficult to set up the beginning because dante's inferno has so many different levels and stories that go within it, so good job on setting up the story. You did a great job by making it sound interesting and keeping the reader questioning on what is going to happen. My one suggestion would be to go through the introduction and read it aloud, there are a few grammar errors that are super easy for you to fix! other than those minor fixes i would say that your introduction did exactly what it is meant to do.
ReplyDeleteHi Nick! I think this will be a great story book to read! First question is, are you portraying the character as yourself? Second, what exactly are you doing different than from the original story of Dante's Inferno? Also, I did notice some overuse of pronoun (he) at the beginning of your introduction. This just a suggestion but an eventual telling of why these two are really in Purgatory(or are going through it) would be a really interesting aspect to include. Such ideas being that Spencer really did do something bad and he is trying to make his way to heaven by giving "tours" to those newly there. Lastly, I feel like staying the same point of view throughout the story would be better, such as telling the story solely from Nicholas's perspective. But overall I am excited to see how you plan on laying out all of your stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Nick!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, love the subtle banner image for Story 1. It's a nice touch. The site works great, and my only cosmetic recommendation could be adding perhaps a couple more images to give readers an immediate vibe in the introduction. The cerberus image is great, but you might could scoot it down in the text to where the dog appears in the story.
I think Spencer's explanation for why greedy people wind up in this realm could use a little fine-tuning: everyone wants things they can't have, we do this all the time. Perhaps Spencer could explain that these people acted on those impulses at the expense of others, instead of simply pointing out they were greedy to begin with? The celebrity roast is nice too, giving a very modern twist to the Inferno.
There's a little inconsistency with past and present actions, and perhaps combing through and changing verbs around for a consistent time frame (Has this already happened or is it occurring in real-time) would give a little more cohesion to the narrative.
This is a great start, and I can't wait to see what happens next.
Hi Nick, I have actually never read Dante's inferno and I am not sure that I ever will so this was an interesting read for me! Since I have never read the original work it would have helped me if I had gotten a 101 of some sort of the book. I think I got the gist of it through your introduction as you did a pretty good setting up your story but I was a tad bit lost. Also, I noticed that you left out your bibliography on the introduction, just wanted to give you a heads up! Also, I am wondering what levels of the infernos you will be using for your stories. There are 7 levels in the original? Will you be taking us through all of them or are you skipping some of them? I like how you brought in names of people that most of us would recognize from pop culture.
ReplyDelete- Anna Margret
I've never read Dante's Inferno so this will be interesting for me. I wish your introduction was more of an introduction than a story, since I've never read the original before and have no idea what to expect. The first paragraph in Story 1 reads pretty awkward--I think that there are some words missing? Also in your Story 1, watch for typos and capitalization errors. Sorry, I can't read anything without finding those, even books I buy. It's just the way my brain works, to find them. I like how you use real people that we would all recognize as people being tortured in hell and also relate it as to how we all sin and could all be tortured for our sins. Really makes a person think. I really like the way you've written all this so far and I love your images. I just wish you'd put in more about the original, maybe in your intro, for those of us who've never read the original story and probably won't ever read it. It's hard to know what we're comparing it to. Great job & can't wait to see what else you come up with!
ReplyDeleteHi Nick!
ReplyDeleteafter reading the introduction, I am interested to see where your story will go. I also have never read Dante's Inferno. I like how you used the name Nicholas, is this in reference to your own name by chance? I like how you made the setting modern (2018), and that Nick is just lost in this world without his wife. I also enjoy the details you gave about Purgatory, and the forest. sort of reminds me of the weather here recently.
Story: part 1, the title does not seem that interesting or intriguing to me. I also enjoyed Nick seeing familiar celebrities in Lust, especially since one of them was in the news recently. I noticed a few grammatical errors, which I am sure is in your email for revision. I also don't think that the image of the three headed dog should be changed to something else since Cerberus is only mentioned here and does not have much importance here in your story.
Hi Nick! I think Dante’s Inferno is an excellent story topic because it is dark yet full of fantasy and wonder. I really like how you describe Nick and Spencer entering hell. You can picture the cave and how it slowly changes into new realms. It’s really unique that you put real celebrities in the different levels of the inferno! You are including real elements from today and weaving them into an ancient story. One thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of your sentences are short and simple, but I think it would really improve the flow if you combined several sentences into one. They would read better if they were a little longer. This is a very dark story and it leaves me wondering where it could go next. I saw in your author’s note that you chose to include Cerberus because he’s important, and I completely agree.
ReplyDeleteHi Nick! I loved your idea of basing the story off of Dante's Inferno. Right away, you explain the motivations of the main characters, such as a search for a lost wife, which I really appreciate. I have a few questions for you. First, what is the reason given for mortals being sent to Purgatory in the original book itself? From what I understand, it's a place to do penance for sin. In the writings of the faith, it's a place where sinners are able to purify themselves, not a place for people who haven't sinned. Also, I was curious if you're planning to change the storyline of the book as you write your own version? So far, they seem fairly similar, and I'm excited to see where you take it. Lastly, a lot fo your verbs aren't in the same tense. The constant switching from present to past tense made the story a bit confusing to read. Overall, I like your imagery and can't wait to read the next story!
ReplyDeleteI really liked reading your introduction. It was a great way to introduce what the storybook is going to be about. The story was easy to follow and you created a great back story to understand what was going to happen later in the Storybook. If I were to suggest anything, I might switch up the beginnings of some of the sentences. A lot of them start with “He” and with those sentences, they follow back to back with “He”. This is a very picky suggestion, but creating diverse sentence structure could add a lot to your introduction! As I go onto Part 1, I know it will be a cool story based on the picture that you included! Images do a lot for a story, and in this case, it gives insight as to what to expect before even reading the story. After reading the author’s note, I think that you did a great job of keeping close to the original all while creating your own story and making it have your influence. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHello Nick,
ReplyDeleteI read your Introduction and the First Story.
First off, I think your website is easy to navigate, your theme and pictures match your story. I noticed that someone else mentioned moving the picture of Cerberus in your second story down to where you introduce the creature. I would have to agree that it would be nice for the reader to see the illustration next to where the character is in the story. Plus, you have the banner photo, which acts as your first picture.
I have never read or hear of Inferno before coming across your project. Although I am not familiar with the story, I think you have done a great job setting up your story and introducing the characters. I also like your use of dialog. I think you capture the essence of your two characters well.
I felt like the jump between lust, to gluttony, to greed was pretty quick. Reading your author's note, I understand you wanted to leave that part out, but I think adding a little more explanation and interaction with the beings who are trapped would help keep the reader hooked into your story. I thought I missed something so I went back through to find more information. However, I think it was a good idea to allow them to get through Cerberus so quickly by throwing it some meat as a distraction.
I look forward to reading your other story next week. I like your theme, it reminds me of Diablo 3.
~Madi Reynolds
Hello Nick!
ReplyDeleteAs someone who is very interested in Dante's Inferno, I must explain how incredible your piece seems to me. The characters were developed early on. I do think there is a way to tell the story of the connection and familial ties among them without being so concise. If you spread out your pacing and how you tell the audience the story, you may increase the engagement in the piece. I do enjoy the depth of research you went through, however. The part where you speak of Jews and their relation to not believe in an afterlife is a practical addition to your story. I am very interested in reading more of your stories. I wonder if Nicholas will even find his wife in Heaven or if Spencer is lying to him to seal his fate! Is Spencer even sent by the angels? I am excited to find out what happens next in your storybook.
Hi again Nick!
ReplyDeleteThe changes you've made to Part 1 are great! I was tickled by the inclusion of Hannibal Lecter in Part 2, and I absolutely loved Spencer's explanation of why even fictional characters can suffer. What an idea! Using Kurt Cobaine as an example of self-violence was genius, and I love the way you've completely modernized Dante's Inferno. Populating each of the levels of hell with characters our generation will relate to was a seriously good idea.
The remark Spencer makes to Nicholas: "I was told you are not a heretic" really made me wonder what Spencer was told, and whether Spencer is actually trustworthy or leading Nicholas to his own private hell. I went back and re-read the introduction, and realized that precisely how Nicholas stumbled into the Inferno was never really explained. Now I'm wondering if Nicholas is dead the whole time!!!! Super fun, super spooky! This is one of my favorite storybooks, and I can't wait to see what the ending reveals. GREAT JOB!
Hey Nick, I haven't ever read Dante's Inferno, but I am familiar with the general idea and plot. I read through some of the other comments and I would agree that an introduction or author’s note that gives a good explanation of the original might be helpful to readers that have never read the book before.
ReplyDeleteYour blog is looking good, I like your choice of banners and pictures to reflect where the reader is in the tale. My only input would just be to choose pictures that all have a unified look. Since most of your photos look like they have kind of an ancient vibe going on, I would recommend changing the photo of Cerberus and the banner picture of money. For Cerberus you could use a drawing that was done earlier or in an older style, while for the money you could possibly use a picture of gold coins instead. These are just some suggestions.
As far as content goes, I think that although the idea of using pop culture in the story is interesting, it is a little heavy handed. While everyone is entitled to their opinion, it seems to be a little presumptuous for you to write about these people belonging in hell. While I may agree with you on some points, I don’t think that it is in good taste to pass judgement on others like that. But then again, maybe this just isn’t my kind of thing.
-Cat
Hi Nick! I read your “Intro of the Inferno story”. I thought it was truly creative and amazing! I even like the very beginning of your story: “His name is Nicholas and he will have to travel through many levels of the inferno before he is able to reunite with his wife.” That is just really purposeful and I think that gives a worthy reason for Nicholas to go through such journey. It’s really tragic that Nicholas’s wife died when he was only thirty. This really created a big suspense in my mind: Though scared Nicholas asked with confidence, “Who goes there?’ Wow.. This part of the story is intense: “Nicholas, I have brought you to the first level of the Inferno, Purgatory. This is the place where people who did nothing wrong have gone but did not follow faith properly. These people will roam here eternally for they did not listen to faith properly.” I could imagine what the scene was like. I wonder if Nicholas could have ever been able see such thing without meeting Spencer. What if Spencer had an ill intent for Nicholas? The story is by the most creative story I’ve read in this class. Thank you for a great story!
ReplyDeleteHey Nick!
ReplyDeleteI have heard of Dante’s Inferno and probably was supposed to read it in high school at some point, but I do not think that I ever actually finished it. I had a tendency to not do the required reading, but I do know that Dante’s Inferno is a classic so it was cool that you wanted to try your own version. I enjoyed experiencing it through your version. I wish that it was longer, but I understand for the sake of the class you probably had to cut things out, also maybe it is just a short story originally. I am glad you kept the names the same because I want to read the original now and then I could compare the two. Also, I am glad you made the story your own and changed the ending instead of just rewriting the whole thing, I think your ending was great and I am sure it is a great addition to the original.
Hey Nick, I really like the spin you have put on your retelling of Dante’s Inferno. I really like some of the characters you included as sufferers in certain levels of hell. When you included Hannibal Lector I was thinking, wait, isn’t that a fictional character? And apparaently your character was too because immediately after he was mentioned the character asks about it and learns that hell has no bounds and even the fictional suffer for sins. I liked this explanation and I think it fits with the story and gives you more options for characters to include. I also really like some of the pictures you have included, specifically the one of Cerberus. You might consider adding even more pictures within your stories. Pictures like these do a really nice job of breaking up walls of text. Overall, you have done great job, you have a well put together Storybook here!
ReplyDeleteHello Nick! I am glad to be back here again.
ReplyDeleteI have enjoyed reading your storybook. One thing that I noticed was at the beginning of Part 2. It begins with a repetitive sentence, which I am sure was accidentally left in there when you were editing. It is important for the reader to get pulled into the story right from the beginning and small errors like that can be distracting. I think it is so funny that you included Mel Gibson in your story, although the situation he is in is not very pleasant for anyone. I thought it was interesting that you tied in the time change, it is important to remind your readers where your character came from, so good job! I think that it would be helpful to have a few more picture throughout your story. Personally, I just love pictures because they help me imagine what the character is facing, the setting, other characters, etc. For instance, I think it would be helpful to move the picture of Geryon to the bottom of the page when he is introduced. That way when Spencer says, "This is Geryon," the reader does not have to scroll all the way to the top to see what he looks like, or it is also possible that they may not make that connection at all. Overall, I think you have done a wonderful job with your storybook project. I have enjoyed reading it over the semester! :)