There was once a great man name nicholas. He was a man that even the gods smiled upon. He was on a journey home, by sea, from the great war of troy . He was passing a land that he saw. He had noticed that he and his men were running low on supplies and decided to stop. They brought their boat ashore. When they arrived on the land and they noticed that it was fertile and full of lots of free roaming goats. That nights Nicholas and his men gathered goats and ate their fill.The next day Nicholas Arose. He grabbed some of his sweetest wine to drink. He set out to look at the land. A little way away from his men he noticed a rock move and many goats leave. After the goats had all left a cyclops the size of fifteen men came out of the cave. Seeing this nicholas returned to his men. He made them all wake up and said, “ The strongest of you men who have no fear come with me.”
Twelve of his men followed. Soon they arrived upon the a cave where the rock had been moved. He and his men entered the cave and waited for the cyclops to come back. The reason he waited is he wanted to speak with the cyclops. He wanted to see if the giant creature was friendly and intelligent or a savage. Later that evening the cyclops arrived and all of the goats that were there also came in with him. Then suddenly after the last goat came it he covered the same with the giant rock. After this the creature saw the nicholas and his men in the cave and then spoke, “he said who has intruded in my cave.”
Nicholas was about to speak but before he could speak the cyclopes said, “It doesn’t matter. I shall eat you.”
Then he grabbed three of the men and gobbled them down quickly. This is when Nicholas realized the creature was intelligent and smart. But nick had a plan to try to outsmart the creature. Sadly the cyclops had ate all but two of his men before he had finished thinking of this plan. Fearing for his last two men he walked over to the giant and said, “Would you like some of this wine I have with me?”
Without even answering the cyclops took the wine and drank it all. Within a 30 minutes the cyclops was completely drunk. At this point Nicholas drew his sword and stabbed the creature’s single eye. It screamed out in pain. Then said, “these creatures are trying to kill me.”
The he removed the rock blocking the cave and told his flock of goats to run. In the chaos of the goats fleeing. Nicholas and his two men ran out. As running a little bit away from the cave, Nicholas Said, “I am Nicholas and I have defeated you foul creature.”
Hearing this the cyclops knew where they were and ran after. Nicholas and his men arrived with the rest of their men. Then they set sail as fast as they could. They left right before the giant arrived. Be full of pride from the escape nicholas turned around and yelled, “you have failed to foil our escape and will now suffer with eternal blindness.”
To hearing this the cyclopes lifted a giant boulder along above his head that he found on the shore and was about to throw it towards where he heard the sound. Then suddenly he slipped and the boulder left his hand and struck his head. The blow killed him instantly. After this Nicholas felt like a king for he believed he defeated the cyclops. From there Nicholas and his men sailed into the sea towards home.
Author's notes: the sources story is from Odyssey. In the story Odysseus and his men were on a journey home from the battle for troy. The came on an island they knew had cyclops. He and his men went into a cave to meet one of the cyclopes while it was out. The creature started to eat his men for his for his meal. Then odysseus tricked the creature and blinded it to save his remaining three men. All they did was blind the creature and it did not die in the end. Only cursed him with the wrath of Poseidon. They also stole his whole flock.
bibliography: source story and author: Homer’s Odyssey by Tony Kline
Hello, Nicholas! I enjoyed your story and liked how you gave the main character your name. I also enjoyed all the attention to detail when describing the size of the cyclops, how the cyclops died, etc.; However, there are a few grammatical errors in your story that made it a little difficult to follow. It might be helpful to shorten your story so that it is easier to catch those small mistakes.
ReplyDeleteYou described the cyclops being as big as fifteen men, but I did not understand how the cyclops got drunk off of the one drink. Did Nicholas have more with him or how big was the drink? Also, I was wondering what it would have been like if you had changed the cyclops into another mythical creature or changed the gender. Using a different creature would allow you to play with different settings and plots. Reading this, I thought it would have been funny to have the monster be a girl. She and Nicholas could have fallen in love, or something crazy where his men abandon him, they constantly get attacked because of their odd relationship, etc.
Hello Nicholas!
ReplyDeleteGreat story! I enjoyed how you set up the story and how you got the characters to the cyclops. Your descriptiveness was very helpful in my imagining of this creature and even how you described his death was easy to follow. I wonder was there a reason you used such short sentences at the beginning of this story? It made the pace seem very fast and short, which is great if that was intended but just seemed very abrupt and choppy to read. I would have loved to have read more about the aftermath of the the monsters death. The story seems to end but there is more to be said. Perhaps if you shortened the beginning you would have more time to focus on the wrap-up of the story. Overall think this was a great spin on the original story from the Odyssey and it was a smart choice to choose death over blindness. Keep up the good work!